I seem to only be able to say it to my kids, and even then.... It's rare...
I try so very hard to be there for everyone.. To do for everyone..
I try to not let anybody down.
However.....................
I'm letting myself down. I constantly say, "Yes! I can do that for you!" when I should really, really, REALLY be saying, "I'm sorry. My plate is full, and I'm unable to help you." Or I should actually accept what I'm worth.. What my time, talent, and persistence is all worth..
Do I?
Nope.. I do for free, a lot of the time, because I feel that I'll be valued more... That I'll be wanted more... That I'll be accepted more...
I feel that it's actually backfired. I feel like now, after I've offered to help (because I'm dumb), or I've said "sure!" when I should have said "no"..... that all I've done is shown people that I don't value myself. So why should they value me?
**sigh**
I know that this post is pathetic and fucked, but whatever.. It's what I think... It's what I feel.. and damnit, this is my blog. I'll write whatever the fuck I want to.....
