Things have just been so hectic in my head, in my life, lately.
Andrew has a new job, which pays a bit more, BUT we're without insurance now. When insurance kicks in, he'll still only be making a little bit more than he was.
However... I feel so extremely overwhelmed with working random hours at work, and trying to get my business shit in order.. Plus, there's the kids. I'm at such a huge loss on what to do with them....
I received a call from not only Ana's teacher, but also the school social worker. Apparently, she was talking with a friend or two of hers and had "joked around" (as she puts it) that she wanted to kill herself. Who else's supposedly happy 10 year old says they want to kill themselves? What am I rubbing off on her, that she feels that way? How horrible am I as a mother that I had NO idea she felt that way?
How badly have I been out of it that I fucked my kids up this horribly....
I hate late nights... I can't even get my mind straight.
It's made even worse since I've spent since 9am yesterday sewing and sitting at the kitchen table... I'm trying to get shit in order to do a craft show so that I can make money for us for Christmas... but maybe I was stupid to sign up for the craft show.. Maybe I'm stupid to keep trying to sell things to people... My stuff is not that great... It's nice, but I don't think it's honestly good enough to fucking sell anything... I've been complimented on my stuff, but so far, I've basically only had my cousin who's bought from me...
Well, I guess since it's almost a quarter to four in the morning, I should probably get to bed... I'll be back up in two and a half hours for Ana to get off to school, anyway....
